Nothing matters more
by erdi99
Summary: I have changed this from being a one-shot, to work in Progress This isn't a continuing story, they are just mutiple one shots from different POV The Mistakes are all mind,i apologize for those. This is my first try at FF
1. Chapter 1

Nothing mattered, except from the guy lying in the hospital bed in front of her.

He lay there, so fragile and weak. Nothing like the guy she knew, sexy, strong and hard to stay away from.

No matter what happened the in the past year, no matter that he was with someone else now, she just couldn't stay away.

Andy had spent the last two days at the hospital beside Sam's bed. Just moving as far as the cafeteria and she was never gone longer than 10 min.

He was her rock. The one she could always count on having her back. And she almost lost him. He had crashed twice before they were able to remove the bullet and stitch him back up. Now they were just waiting for him to wake up.

Andy couldn't stop thinking about what he had said. _"I screwed up and it's my fault. I screwed it up over and over again...Andy I want you to be happy...more than anything in the world, more than I could ever want for myself...and you are with HIM. And I need to...I gotta go."_

He wanted to leave. He couldn't stand being around her and seeing her with Nick. She couldn't believe the nerve he had saying those things to her.

For the past few month she had to look on how he and Marlo were together, everywhere. She had just wanted to move on, forget about Sam. Nick had just been the easy way out. He was a great friend, but she doesn't love him. What did Traci said after she broke up with Luke _"To get over someone, you have to get under someone"._

So Andy had just done that. She had hooked up with Nick. They just had sex, nothing more. Nick was easy. It didn't mean anything.

But then...then Sam had to go and get shot by Ford. And Andy's world just stopped rotating for those few hours, before the doctor told her he would make it.

That Bastard. He honestly thought he could get away with that. That he could pretend he cared about her all of a sudden, then leave and get shot all in a span of an hour.

Andy was determined that once he was awake she would kill him. Kill him for getting shot; kill him for not having his vest on and definitely for leaving without fighting for it.

Yes, she left first. That night of the blackout, then after they gotten suspended and then she left again after he told her he loved her. She had a big part in the failure that was their relationship, but Andy had never been happier than those days where she would wake up and Sam was beside her. He might have run off every morning, but he was still there every other free minute.

This time she wouldn't run. She would stay and fight for THEM. She wouldn't let anything get between them anymore.

Andy knows that she has to talk to Nick. This all hasn't been fair on him. She had let him on and she did not have the intention to hurt him.

Then there was Marlo. What was going on between Sam and Marlo, she didn't know, all she new Sam's girlfriend hadn't been in the hospital once since Sam got here. Andy had tried to call her, but she didn't answer. Traci had said that Marlo was suspended until further notice. So were Andy and Sam.

Andy didn't know if Sam heard what she said in the ambulance, but she would tell him once again he was awake, after she stopped being mad at him.

She would give anything to be with him again. She loved her job, but she loves Sam more. He is her Story. It had always been him. It was the second time she had tried to forget about him, the first time was, as she was with Luke and the second time as he was with Marlo.

Andy stood up and started pacing the room. She would make it work, she would fight, even if he would blow her off, she would help him come to his senses.

Nothing mattered more than the man lying in that hospital bed, fragile and weak. He is her story and Andy McNally loves him more than anything in the world. If he now could just wake up so she could tell him all that, she would be the happiest person in the world.

It would be the day first day of the rest of her live...hopefully with Sam Swarek.


	2. Sam's musings

They say that when you die, your life flashes in front of your eyes like a broken video. You will see the highlights, the best and the worst moments of your life and the people you love and hate.

But now that Sam Swarek was so close to dying all he could see was one face. The Face that belongs to his former rookie, the love of his life, the one person he wished he had more time with, Andy McNally.

Sam couldn't believe this. All the shit he pulled when he was a kid or even when he was an undercover cop for Guns & Gangs, this is how he was going to go out.

Shot in the stomach, by a man with a vendetta. On one Hand he had been too worried to find Kevin Ford that he didn't waste minutes to put on his vest. On the other hand he wished he had put it on, so he wouldn't have seen the look on Andy's face in the ambulance.

It caused him more than physical pain, to see her tears, her heartache. He had put that look there and he didn't like it one bit.

He had promised Andy once he wouldn't leave without a fight. But he had just done that. Leave.

He left her standing in the rain. He had looked in the rear view mirror as he drove off that night and he wished he would have just turned around. But back then he was hurt. Jerry had just died and he thought he would do the right thing.

He didn't want Andy going through what Traci had to go through. He didn't want her getting a call one day, telling her, that her man had died in the line of duty that he wouldn't come home to her.

The Weeks after the break up were hard. But him keeping in mind why he had done it, made it easier. But after those weeks, she had to go and hold that stupid grenade.

That put it all in prospective for him. He loves her. He can't live without her, and if she dies he will die with her.

But she left.

Marlo had been a distraction. A distraction from the way his heart ached, because Andy left.

He and Marlo were on the rocks. Sam had tried to make it work, but his heart wasn't completely in it. Because a Braun-haired bambi had taken it with her and had yet to give it back.

Sam had wanted to do the right thing by Marlo and stay with her, as he found out that she is bi-polar. He wanted her to be stable before he broke it off with her. He couldn't leave her when she was broken; he just wasn't the type for that.

But he was sick of pretending. He wasn't fine. He was hurt; he was in love with his ex-girlfriend, who was now in a relationship with G.I. Joe. God how he despised that guy.

He had screwed up. He should have made her see reason long time ago. But he wasn't a relationship guy.

The intensity of the relationship with Andy had caught him of guard. He had never felt like this for anyone before.

Never the less, Andy had told him in the Ambulance that she loved him. So now he would fight for his life, so that he could go back to Andy and tell her how he really felt.


	3. Frank Best

Frank Best was sitting at his Desk, staring out into the Bullpen.

He was down 6 officers.

Oliver had been kidnapped and was now lying with a concussion in the hospital. Sammy was shot here at the station and was also lying in the hospital. McNally wouldn't leave his side, plus she was suspended so were Cruz and Collins.

Then there was Chloe. Frank was still trying to reach her parents, but they were overseas at the moment. Epstein had told him, Wes Cole had appeared and wouldn't let the doctors perform the surgery. Since he was Chloe's Husband and emergency contact, not even Frank could get an update on his god-daughter.

Frank had yet to find out from Luke how far this all went.

He knew that Sam and McNally had known about Cruz's breakdown and that she was bi-polar. Collins involvement in the whole thing was still unclear.

How did he let everything go out of control? Frank knew he had been preoccupied with Noelle and their daughter, the wedding and the tests they were doing on Noelle, but he hadn't registered that Cruz had been acting up. How did something like that slip past Frank?

Kevin Ford had been shot by Collins and was dead on scene. SRU was investigating the shooting and Callahan was working with Internal Affairs, to get to the bottom of this mess.

Swarek would probably be demoted, McNally could be prevented from going up the ranks and Collins might get off with a suspension. Cruz on the other hand would be losing her job over this.

All this because one woman thought she could handle her illness and still be a cop. Frank could just shake his head to that that thought.

Franks phone rang and he looked on the caller ID. It was the superintendent. He didn't pick up; he couldn't deal with her just yet. He would wait until he had more information in a few hours.

On that Note Frank retrieved his jacked from the hook on the wall and drove to the hospital.

First he went by Oliver's room. His friend was sleeping with Celery in his arms. He was happy for his friend. After all that mess with Zoe, Oliver had finally found someone again. Someone who made him happy.

He hoped that this relationship would last. Because he hadn't seen his friend this happy since, well...it had been a long time.

Next stop was Sam's room. He looked through the window. McNally was pacing the room, muttering to herself or to the sleeping Sam.

These two are also perfect for each other. They just didn't realize it. They were both just so damn stubborn. Frank hoped that when all this mess was sorted out that Sam and McNally still had a fighting chance. As a staff sergeant he had to stay natural, but in secret he was cheering those two on and the only person who knew that was his wife.

Frank found himself sighing and shook once again his head. He had stopped earlier at the nurse's desk, where he had been informed that Detective Swarek would indeed survive and make a full recovery.

At last he came to Chloe's room. Cole was sitting in the visitors chair next to her bed as Frank came in. He nodded at the officer as a greeting.

"How is she doing?" he asked the other man. "They are hoping that the swelling will go down and that the cloth will go away with medication", Cole answered.

Frank wasn't here to start an argument. He knew when to keep his mouth shut and this was one of those situations. He prayed that Chloe's parents would get his message soon, so they could talk some sense into her husband.

Frank walked over to the bed and gave Chloe a kiss, Cole a nod and left the room.

Back at the station he found himself, once again sitting at his desk looking out into the bullpen. He was determined to get 15th division back up to its former glory.

He knew that his best officers would need to face the consequences of their actions, but he would see to it that they would clean up their act and to obey by the rules. At that thought Frank Best actually had to smile, because no one could get Sammy to obey by the rules.

It was time to get back to the basics...! With that Frank picked up the phone to call the superintendent.


	4. He is awake

**Authors note:**

**First of all thank you very much for all your kind words, and all the people who choose to follow this story.**

**Writing the fourth chapter gave me actually quite a bit of trouble, because i cant write conversations to save my life. So you will notice that I sort of got around that in this chapter, but the next one properly will have more of that.**

**So please forgive me for my mistakes.**

_**I just like to say something to the guest comment and I promise this will be the one and only time I will mention this:**_  
_**If I would put myself in the situation that Andy has been in, I would have reacted the same. There are always two to a relationship and Sam deserves just as much blame as Andy does. So both have to work very hard to make it this time, but i think after the year they had they are committed to just doing that, and hopefully have a HEA.**_

**So here it is a new chapter, Happy reading!**

Andy McNally was pacing through Sam's hospital room, whilst muttering to herself.

The nurses gave her all ready strange looks, but she couldn't stop herself. She had been worried and now she was angry.

Andy had worked up quite an anger towards Sam and this whole fucked up situation. If someone would try to speak to her in this stage, she would snap. So she hoped no one would even try.

"McNally, will you please stop moving, you are making me dizzy!"

Andy's stopped mid step and turned around. She thought hearing him speak, was just her imagination playing with her, but as she faced him, Andy could see a smiling Sam Swarek.

Andy couldn't move she stood there frozen to the spot, not knowing what to say. She had waited two long days for him to wake up and now that he was awake all she could do was stare at him, while relief flooded through her.

"Hi" she said, but her voice failed her and it came out as a squeak.

His smile just got wider and his dimples made an appearance. "Did they accidentally implanted a horn into my forehead, or why do you keep staring at me, McNally?"

Oh, she couldn't believe this. How dare he try to joke? This was serious. Fortunately in that moment the doctor came into the room. "Detective Swarek. I am glad to see that you are awake" the doctor said whilst checking all the machines. Andy used that moment to step outside so the doctor could talk to Sam by himself.

Not even ten minutes past, when the doctor stepped back out of Sam's room.

"Officer McNally. You can go back in now." he pointed to the door. As he saw Andy's worried face he added "He will be fine. His Vitals are good, and the wound has healed very well. You can take him home in a couple of days." With that the doctor left Andy standing in front of Sam's room, not knowing what to do.

What would she say? Would he even want her there? Before she could over think the situation she pushed the door to his room open and stepped in.

For a moment they just looked at each other, both not sure what to say.

"I am glad that you are awake Sam", she gave him a small smile.

"So..." seems like Sam didn't know what to say either.

"Yeah so..." Andy started but then she lost all her confidence. "Maybe I should go...I mean now that you are awake and all. I...I will let Frank know. Oh and we are suspended and we can't get a hold of Marlo. Uhmm... I will get Frank to come and update you and stuff...you know" she couldn't stop rambling. Jesus McNally get your shit together!

While she talked, she had put on her coat, just to avoid looking at Sam.

"MCNALLY" Sam nearly screamed at her. Now she was forced to look at him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to shout but you didn't listen." he gave her an apologetic look. "Can you stay for a little while?"

Andy nodded and flopped into the visitor's chair she had occupied the last couple of days. It wasn't close to the bed, but at this moment she had a feeling she needed to move a little more backwards to put more space between them, but she stayed where she was.

Andy McNally knew now what she wanted and she was looking right at it, but how to get it was a big question she didn't know the answer to.


	5. Trying

She nearly left...again. Sam was glad that he was able to stop her. He said her name three times, before deciding she wasn't listening and raising his voice.

He was usually pretty good at reading her face, but now the look on her face didn't give anything away.

Sam didn't know how to start. There was so much to say, so much to talk about and yet he wasn't able to voice any of his thoughts out loud.

So he decided to stay with safer topics for the moment. "So we are suspended?" He asked, to which she just nodded. "Any idea how long the suspension will last?" Andy just shook her head and shrugged.

And there it was again, that uncomfortable silence. He looked at everything, but the person sitting across the room.

"Sam?" With that he really looked at her for the first time since he woke up.

She was wearing blue jeans and a brown jumper. Her hair had been pulled up into a messy bun and her face was makeup free. Sam could see the rings under her eyes. The doctor had told him to tell his girlfriend to go home and get some rest. Apparently she had been here since Sam had been brought to the hospital and he and the nurses couldn't convince her to leave and get proper rest. He hadn't bothered to correct the doctor on the girlfriend part.

"You are stupid you know?" that brought Sam out of his own thoughts. "I'm stupid? Care to explain that McNally?"

"You go around the station looking for Ford, without a vest or your gun!" Andy's voice got louder and by the looks of it she was getting real mad. She was now pacing his hospital room again "Seriously Sam. **WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?** You could have died. I just can't believe you. You might think you are bullet proof, but **NEWSFLASH** Sam, you are not, as Ford clearly proved."

Sam couldn't stop smiling. She was cute when she was angry. Unfortunately for him she saw his smile and got even madder.

"You are so stubborn. Why couldn't you put that damn vest on? But NO, MR Hotshot Guns and Gangs had to go off without it. I nearly lost you Sam. God, this is just the Brennan thing again. Or as I thought they shot you after the Landry case. I don't know what I would do without you Sam." With those word she turned to face him again.

The smile had vanished a little from his face but it was still there. Sam knew she was right. He should have put his vest on, but at that moment finding Ford had been his priority. The fact that she still seemed to care about him, gave him a little hope for their future.

"I am sorry, Andy" He motioned for her to sit on his bed. "I am so sorry that you were worried, ok? But finding Ford had been my priority at that moment."

Instead of sitting on his bed, Andy had opted for bringing the chair over to his bed. He took her hand and let his thumb glide of her knuckles.

"Just don't do that again. I can deal with you being with Marlo, but I can't deal with loosing you completely." Andy took her hand out of his and looked him in the eye. She had tears in her eyes and he hated that he put them there.

"Andy...Marlo and I, it's not working out. I tried to forget you, tried to move on, but it didn't work. The reason why I haven't broken it off yet, is that she was in a real bad place. I wanted to do the right thing by her and not leave her while she was already down. I did that once, with you...and I wasn't going to make the same mistake twice." _as it seems I am able to find the words after all,_ he mused.

The tears were now falling freely down Andy's cheeks. Sam wanted so badly to take her in his arms and make it all go away. But he didn't have the right to do that, at least not until he found out what the deal was with Collins.

"Sam..." she brushed the tears away furiously. "I am sorry, too. I should have never left and went undercover. At least not without letting you know...I would have come you know. That night...I wanted so badly to go and have that drink with you, but Luke said I had five minutes to decide and I wasn't allowed to tell anyone, so... so I did what I thought was the right choice. To give us some time and space"

"What is the deal with you and Nick?" Sam blurted out._ Damn Pain medication_ he thought. _Great Swarek, she will leave now because you couldn't keep your mouth shut!_

"Oh.." that's all that came out of Andy's mouth. And then there was the silence again. He was about to speak up, to tell her to forget what he said and just try to make some small talk, just to get over that uncomfortable silence. But Andy choose that moment to get up.

Sam thought she would get up and leave, but instead she went into the bathroom and closed the door behind herself.

Sam didn't know what to do. He obviously had put his foot in his mouth. But what was he supposed to do? He needed to know what was going on before her told her how he really felt. He figured this way he could keep his heart in check and if she was still with Nick he could deal with that easier, than to confess his feelings and then find out that she was still dating him.

_Either way, it will hurt_, he thought. And if the expression on Andy's face was anything to go on, he was preparing himself for the worst.


	6. What about Nick?

Author's note:

I forgot last chapter, but i like to thank RBfan4ever, she has given me some good advice and checked the last chapter for me. So this one is all on my own again. So any mistakes are once again my own :)

Enjoy

Andy leaned over the sink and splashed some cold water in her face. That question had caught her of guard.

She had yet to talk to Nick. Andy didn't want to have that talk over the phone.

In the last couple of days everybody had wanted to get a hold of her but Nick. So she hadn't tried to call him either. She didn't know what to say to him. Just an_ I'm sorry_ didn't seem enough.

Now, it was time to face reality. What she would say to Sam would either be the beginning of something or the end to everything.

Andy turned the water off, dried her face and did a quick check in the mirror. Her eyes are red and puffy from the crying she had done and her hair was a mess. _'There are more important things to worry about than your hair and face'_ Andy thought to herself.

With a little more confidence than she had before, Andy opened the door.

Sam's face was void of any emotion as she stepped back into the room.

She went back to the chair next to Sam's bed and looked right at him. She needed him to see that what she would say next, she meant from the bottom of her heart.

"I am sorry Sam. The question just caught me of guard." Andy said, "I don't know really how to put this in words..." she paused and looked down at her shoes, hoping it would help her to focus and not let her emotions get the better of her.

"I wanna be honest with you. I haven't talked to Nick yet. Yes, I did sleep with him, but I don't love him. I saw you move on with Marlo and Nick was just always there, you know... I like him as a friend. We have been through a lot, and he gave me what I needed at that moment and I just needed to feel close someone" _Better to get it all out before I loose my nerve. Better put it all out there at once, instead of keeping it all in again, _Andy thought.

Sam kept quit, so she took that as her que to continue.

"As I came back and saw you moved on, it hurt. I figured it would get easier over time, but it didn't. I know this isn't an excuse, but Traci once said to me '_to get over someone, you get under someone_'. So I sort of took that advice. I just wanted to move on, they way you had, I wanted to be happy. But I didn't realize until you said you needed to go...that you wanted to leave... I realized that I wasn't over you. I followed you out to tell you, but we found Oliver's squad and it all went to hell from there" Andy took a deep breath. While she talked Sam's facial expression hadn't changed one bit.

Her hope vanished. What if they couldn't work out their differences, what if he wouldn't forgive her leaving?...There were so many unknowns. But she had said to herself that she wouldn't run this time, that she would stay and fight.

She took a deep breath and tried to regain some strength to finish what she wanted to say.

"I haven't talked to Nick yet", she said and the moment the words were out of her mouth Sam's facial expression showed a lot of pain. So Andy quickly continued. "I haven't talked to him because I didn't know what to say to him. _'I am sorry'_ just didn't seem to be enough and I want to do it in person. And since I haven't left your side since you got to the hospital, I haven't had a chance to talk to him."

"What are you going to tell him?" Sam finally broke his silence. Once again his face showed no emotion. Andy didn't know how he did it. She is a person full of emotions and it was taking everything in her to hold her tears at bay. Sam Swarek has the ability to bring out everything in her, the good, the bad and the ugly. But he also made her the happiest person on earth when she was with him.

"I am going to tell him, that I cannot be with him, because I am in love with a very stubborn man." a small smile crept over Andy's face and the tears finally started falling. "I am going to tell him, that I am sorry and that I should have never used him. And that I understand if he wouldn't want to talk to me anymore." She wiped her cheeks with her hands, and let out the breath she'd been holding.

"I know that I have run away twice now, but Sam, I am **done** running. I want to work this out between us, if there is still something between us?" Andy looked at him expectantly and waited. The longer the silence lasted the more she wanted to run, but she kept her ass firmly on the chair she was sitting on.


	7. Talking about feelings is hard

Sam hoped he heard right, because if not his hearing and mind were playing a really bad joke on him. She still loves him; she wants to work things out between them. That had to be a good sign, right?

His heart had stopped momentarily and he had lost his ability to breathe, as she mentioned that she still needed to talk to Nick. She must have noticed because she had continued talking right away.

But what was he supposed to say now. He wants the same things as her. Wants to make it all better, wants to work things out between them. But there was still Marlo.

Sam could see Andy was getting more restless with every minute that passed in silence. He didn't want her to leave; he didn't want to scare her away. _I need to find the right words, otherwise she will run off and every chance we would have had blown to hell_, Sam figured.

Nothing made him happier than the Braun haired Bambi in front of him. But talking about feelings and his childhood wasn't something he was good at. In every relationship he has had, he kept the woman at arms lengths, never letting them get close enough to see the real Sam Swarek; never close enough to break is heart. But this girl has gotten under his skin since the day they met.

Thinking back to that day made Sam smile a little. Suddenly he knew what to say. He took a calming breath and looked at Andy, was looking at her shoes and bouncing her legs up and down. _Never one to sit still, ever a bundle of energy,_ Sam mused.

"Andy...Andy look at me" Sam said and Andy lifted her gaze. Sam let out a nervous chuckle. His future with her depended on this conversation.

"I want to work things out with you more than anything in the world." that earned him a small smile from Andy, but she kept quite.

"I moved on, because I thought you didn't want to be with me, that you couldn't forgive that I left you standing in the rain. I can't even tell you how much I regret that. But I don't want you to regret going undercover. You and I know both know it was the right thing to do." Andy shook her head. "Sam...I..." "McNally, please let me finish?" He asked her softly. She nodded and closed her mouth.

"Thank you", Sam smiled at her. "I am not good at talking about my feelings, you know that, but I will try to explain myself a little better." To get through this he cleared his throat to gain a little more courage.

"After Jerry died I was in a bad place. I didn't handle things well. I couldn't talk about it and I couldn't stand looking at you without thinking, when will she be next? When will I lose the person who means the world to me? I was scared. I wanted to protect you and me, from what Traci went through. And as you held that grenade, everything shifted into prospective for me, and I knew that loosing you, without having spent every waking moment with you, would be just as bad as being with you and loosing you."

Sam tried to block out the memories, but it was very hard. Everything what he had said to her came back, the night in the rain, her holding the grenade, his badly worded confession of love. He shook his head, to focus back on the person right in front of him.

"I know that my _'I love you'_ came at a bad timing and I also shouldn't have made a joke out of it. But I meant what I said. And still mean it" _the hard part is almost over_, Sam thought to himself.

"After you left, it was hard at first. Then I took my detectives exam and threw myself into work. Marlo joint a 15 division a month later and...Well you know...one thing led to another. I just wanted to forget. Move on... Thought it had worked until I saw you standing in that trailer, when I found you and Nick." Sam blew out another breath.

This was hard. Every shrink he had to see after his UC assignments had let him do the mandatory hours and told him he was free to go back to work. He hoped he was able to tell Andy everything in one go, because going through this again would probably kill him.

"As I said earlier. Marlo and I are on the rocks. Have been for a while now...I shouldn't have strung her along, while I figured out my feelings. It isn't fair to her...Andy I still do need to talk to her. But I want to wait till I can leave this hospital, because I don't think she will come and see me here and like you I do not want to do this on the phone." Andy just nodded but still kept quite.

"Andy, I want the whole nine yards. I want you and me, a house, white picket fence and the park on Sunday's. I want to make this work. But I need to talk to Marlo first." A smile played over Andy's lips and tears we falling down her cheeks again.

Sam tried to move to sit up a little in his bed, but pain shot through is abdomen and he moaned at the pain. Andy was quickly up and standing next to the top of his bed. "Sam, are you ok? Should I call the doctor? Do you need anything?" Andy asked with a worried frown on her pretty face.

Sam smiled at her. "Wipe the worry of you face. I'm good. I just pulled a little on the stitches as I tried to move."

"Let me help you?" She asked and all Sam had to do is nod and she helped him adjust in the bed. It still hurt but with her help, it wasn't as bad as the first time. Properly because all he could think about was Andy's hands on his naked arms. A few images went through Sam's head that weren't completely right for the situation. _Get a grip Sam_, he thought.

Andy still looked worried, so he shot her one of his dimpled grins and said "It's all good McNally. No need to worry. I am still alive!"

Andy hit him softly on his leg and rolled her eyes. "I can believe you making fun of this. You could have died."

"I could have, but then I didn't so . ." he emphasised every word, but the worried look on her face didn't vanish. So Sam held out his and for her to take. As she intertwined their hands, Sam felt himself relax. This was how it was supposed to be. Him and her, together. He wished now that he would have had that talk with Marlo earlier, but he had kept on pushing it off. He had wanted to find the right timing, but for things like a break up, right timing didn't exist.

"I want to be with you Andy" Sam said quietly to continue the previous conversation. "But like I said I need to talk to Marlo first. Can you wait that long?"

"Yes" that's all Andy had to say, for Sam's body relax completely in relief. Everything would be ok. They would be ok. They still had a chance.


	8. after the talk

Andy sat there looking at their joint hands, wondering what she had done to deserve a second chance. Not that she wasn't happy about it, that wasn't it at all. After all the shit that had happened to them during the last year, the thought of another chance with Sam at rarely crossed her mind. He was with Marlo and at some point she had accepted that he was happy.

Andy is determined to show him that she would stick around. And if he needed longer than a couple of weeks, she would suck it up and wait. After all what were a few more days, to a life time together?

A quite knock came from the door, before a nurse entered the room. "Detective Swarek, the doctor told me to look at your stitches and change the dressing" The nurse, whose name tag read Julia, smiled at him as she moved next to his bed.

_And that's my cue to go_, Andy thought. She stood up, entangled her hand from Sam's and put on her jacket. Sam looked at her questionably, as if he started to doubt already what she had said a few moments earlier.

"I am just going to go home to shower and change. I will be back in an hour tops" Andy grabbed his hand again and squeezed it lightly.

"McNally...uhmm...Andy, not I mind you being here..." Sam gave her one of his rare fully fledged smiles "But I think it's beyond time that you got a good night of sleep." Andy was about to protest as squeezed her hand and looked at her with a pleading look. "Please? I will call Oliver and see if he wants to share some bad hospital food with me for dinner. So you can have the night off and if you want come back tomorrow morning?"

Andy knew Sam was right. She did look awful. She was long due for a shower. "207" Sam looked at Andy confused. But she had forgotten to tell him that Oliver was in the hospital too.

"Room 207. That's where you will find Oliver." Andy said to him. "Andy, why is Oliver in the Hospital? Did Ford shoot him too?" She could see that Sam was getting riled up, he tried to move, but the nurse pushed him back down, so he would pull on his stitches.

"Oliver is fine. He has a concussion. They kept him for a couple of days. Celery was with him earlier. They will release him in tomorrow morning, she said." Andy smiled at him. He loves Oliver like a brother. She didn't want to think about how he would have reacted if Oliver had died too.

"And YOU couldn't start with THAT? You had me seriously worried there for a moment. Stop giving me grieves!" She knew he didn't mean that, if the smirk on his face was any indication and the teasing in his tone.

Andy smiled brightly at him. She wanted to give him a kiss or at least a hug, but that didn't seem right, even if they were on the same page again. So Andy settled of a long hand squeeze and another bright smile. "I will be by tomorrow morning and bring you breakfast, ok?"

"Yes, that would be great. NOW...GO...I will tell Oliver to keep you updated, so you don't have to worry." Sam shook his head, laughing. It was good to see him laugh and smile again. It seemed like a thousand light years ago that she received a Swarek mocking and teasing. But she didn't mind. If he would keep on looking at her like this, she would gladly endure this for the rest of her life.

"All Right...All RIGHT..." Andy held up her hands to surrender. "I am gone...see?" She said as she stepped outside of his room. He gave a wink followed by a hiss as the nurse ripped of the band-aid.

Andy laughed out loud and closed the door. She was still laughing as she went to 207 to look into Oliver's room. The older cop was just getting checked over by the doctor, so she made a mental note to call him later or to see him tomorrow morning before he was discharged.

Andy jumped into a cap. Ever since Gail had been kidnapped, she always made sure it was a female driver, if she was by herself.

The drive to her apartment block passed in a blur, since she recalled over and over her conversation with Sam. She paid the cap driver and got out.

Her Dad and Traci had been to her place in the last couple of days and had taken care of the flowers and the mail, so there was nothing much for her to do.

As she entered her bedroom, she could still see the evidence of what her and Nick had done just a couple of days ago in there. How did she let their friendship get so out of hand? How did she screw this up so badly? She had always prided herself of never taking friends leftovers. Well she had done just that.

She had hurt Gail and now Nick too. Both of them were important to her. In the Hospital waiting room Gail had been right beside her, same as Traci. She was suspended now, she would have a lot of time to make things right with Gail.

Andy took the sheets of the bed and threw them into the washing machine. When she got the machine running, Andy stripped down and went to take a shower.

The hot water had worked wonders. As Andy stepped out of the shower, she felt relaxed and way more tiered than before the shower.

Too lazy to put new sheets on the bed, she laid on it and covered herself with a blanked. The stress of the last couple of days finally caught up with her and she fell asleep dreaming of none other than Sam Swarek.


	9. Oliver

**Hey guys,**

**Sorry that i took so long with the update. But here it is :) Hope you will enjoy it**

**Not to make excuses but the fanfiction spell check didn't work...so there could be few more than just the usual mistakes ;)**

Sam hung up the phone and took a deep breath. Oliver is alright. His best buddy would bounce back from this and would milk it for all it is worth.

Sam chuckled to himself. He could imagine Oliver getting Celery to do everything for him and always talking himself out of doing stuff with the excuse of being injured.

If Sam moved around too much it hurt pretty bad thanks to the stiches, he had found that one out the hard way when he had gotten up to go to the toilet, after the Nurse had left. So he had opted out of taking a trip to Oliver's room. Instead he had called his friend and told him to come down with his dinner, so they could eat together instead of sitting alone in their respective rooms.

As Andy told him that Oliver is here in the hospital, Sam's heart had stopped for the second time today. His mind had instantly jumped to the wrong conclusions, but as it turned out he didn't need to worry.

_Andy_...that name made him smile. He is glad that they were finally on the same page. Once he got out of here he would talk to Marlo. It wouldn't be an easy talk. But it had to be done. It would hurt Marlo no doubt, but he isn't in love with her nor would he ever be the right guy for her.

They are too much alike. Operating in a grey area on the job and keeping it casual outside of it. And it had worked until Andy came back from her undercover assignment. Sam had created a big mess by having a relationship with a woman he used to distract himself with from everything that was Andy. But he would gladly deal with it, if it meant that Andy would be his for the rest of their lives.

He vowed that he wouldn't be that stupid again. Sam is sure that he is going to mess up again and that they will fight, but he would talk it through and work with Andy.

Sam looked around his room and saw his phone. Dead and he couldn't find a charger. He would ask Oliver about that later. For now he would just entertain himself with daytime TV. _Getting shot and suspended really doesn't have any perks_, Sam sulked, _Daytime TV sucks, getting shot hurts like a bitch and the mandatory sessions with the shrink are just going to be a waste of time. I really need to find something to do when I get out here._

With that his thoughts were drawn back to Andy. Sam figured that he could spend some time with Andy, take her out a few times on a real Date, and maybe even go for a little trip. Andy still hadn't met his sister; it was properly time to introduce them. After all he planned on keeping Andy in his life as long as she would have him, which hopefully meant for forever.

Sam made a mental note to call his sister, and hoped that she is in range of a cell signal. Sarah was currently enjoying a bit of R&R with her husband Tod. They were travelling through Europe with a Camper Van.

Sam had never been one for camping, but Sarah had always loved the outdoors and still did. Andy and his sister would get along just fine.

After an hour alone with his thoughts and the crappy TV program, Oliver came into his room with a tray in hand. And the nurse, bringing Sam his dinner, came trolling after him.

Oliver smiled broadly at Sam "I would have brought better dessert, but Celery cut me off. Told me I'm getting fat. That woman is unbelievable. I give her a place to stay and she won't even bring me dessert to the hospital...Couldn't even work the '_But honey I am injured card_'." Oliver liked to complain, but Sam could hear the love and admiration for Celery in his voice. His best friend was finally happy again.

"And yet you still love her" Sam laughed out loud. "Love?" Oliver questioned, "No Way brother, not after she didn't bring me dessert. Every woman knows that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" Oliver shook his head with a goofy smile and sat down on the chair that Andy had occupied earlier.

Lifting the cover to reveal his food, he found mashed potatoes, some diced meat with sauce and green jelly. Oliver's looked pretty much the same except that he had red jelly.

For a few minutes they ate in silence, before Oliver broke the silence. "How are you Sam?" the worry was clear in Oliver's voice.

"All good brother", He smiled at Oliver. "I will be out of here in no time."

"Sam, I heard what happened. Marlo...uhm... tailing ford...being bi-polar. Seems like you had quite a week huh?" Oliver said.

"I found out about Marlo a few weeks ago as Ford was attacked." Sam couldn't hold it in any longer, he had to come clean to his best friend. "Andy was actually the one who told me. We all are suspended until further notice for covering for her. I suppose it was eventually going to come out but the way it did, well...let's say Marlo will lose her job over this." He couldn't help to feel bad. He should have taken action a lot sooner. "I covered for her, as Ford was attacked. But I didn't know that it went this far. All I knew is that she did little investigating off the record."

"So you called Andy to help?" Oliver frowned.

"How did you know?" There was no way Andy would have told Oliver what she did. It was bad enough that Collins was dragged into this because of him. Sam didn't like him, but he still didn't want him to get in trouble for something Sam helped cover up.

Oliver leaned back in his chair and stared at Sam for a few minutes, before letting out a breath. "She left me standing in Ford's neighbourhood that day. She didn't answer her cell and as she finally came back she didn't say where she had been or what she had done. I put two and two together, as you just said you found out as Ford was attacked," His best friends face showed that he wasn't too happy with Sam. "Why did you involve her? You could have easily come to me."

"Oliver..." Sam huffed "It was supposed to be a secret. Marlo went back on her meds and after that everything was fine. They would have suspended her immediately and then fired her later. She would have not been able to continue doing her job. She is a good cop. So I involved Andy, because she already knew about Marlo's secret. Andy knew for months, before I found out. It all just spun out of control."

"And how does Collins fit into this? I heard he got suspended as well." Oliver questioned.

"Andy told him. I am not happy she did, but she needed to tell someone, I guess. And I get that. Unfortunately, him knowing got him suspended too." Sam looked down at his empty plate. It happened and he would deal with the consequences for his actions.

Sam had always worked on a fine line. That's why he had preferred to work by himself. He didn't want a partner and didn't like training a rookie. Undercover had been perfect for him. He got to play the strangest characters and he didn't need to reveal anything personal. Just the way he liked it...Until Andy. She had been a game changer.

And now she was in this mess because of him. He shook his head and looked back up to his friend.

"I shouldn't have covered for Marlo. But I thought I did the right thing. I will try to leave Andy out of it. When I get out of here I will talk to Frank and Callahan and see to it that they won't be too hard on Andy. After all she received an order from a supervising officer."

"Sammy...Sammy..." _What is it with Oliver and shaking his head today?_ Sam mused, as his friend did just that. Oliver seemed satisfied with Sam's explanation, because he smiled at Sam. "A little birdie also told me McNally didn't leave your bedside until this afternoon. What's up with that?"

**Trust Oliver to go straight to the point.**


	10. THE TALK

The early morning sun awoke Andy. Confused she looked around, for a moment she didn't know where she was. She was used to waking up in Sam's hospital room, even though she only slept there for a couple of days.

Andy got up, took a shower, got dressed and put the wet bed sheets into the dryer. After that she put new sheets on her bed put her coat on and left for the station.

She didn't really want to go, but she had to. Since she had a few things in her locker she needed. In the last half hour the weather had turned and it was now raining. Andy couldn't be bothered going back up to her apartment to get an umbrella, so she pulled up her hood and walked to the station.

Traci laughed out loud as she saw Andy coming into the station. "What is so funny, Trace?" Andy grimaced. "You look like a drowned cat" her friend replied still laughing. "I am glad you find this amusing. As I left it wasn't this bad. But in the last half an hour the rain picked up" Andy couldn't help but smile.

It is obvious to Andy that it wasn't just her appearance that made Traci happy, but also a certain Detective. She had seen how Steve took care of Traci in the hospital. Andy was happy for her friend. She hoped it would last, Traci deserved it.

"C'mon I will go with you to the locker room." With that Traci dragged her into the locker room and handed Andy a towel. "Dry yourself off. Don't want you getting a cold"

Andy nodded and took the towel. As she left home she hadn't checked the time, now glancing at the clock she saw that it is all ready 9.30. She had to hurry up, if she wanted to go and see Oliver before he was discharged and bring Sam breakfast.

Traci noticed Andy looking at the clock and threw her a questioning look. "Somewhere you have to be?"

Andy sighed. How was she going to explain this mess to her best friend?

"I want to go and see Oliver before he is discharged from the hospital and I also kind of promised Sam I would bring him breakfast..." Andy said and looked at her friend. Traci seemed to get that Andy wasn't up to talking.

"Well then you better hurry." Traci said with a smile "But I have a multiple bottles of wine at home, that have our names written on them and I think that at some point in the next few days we should get onto emptying them."

While they talked, Andy had gotten changed out of her wet clothes into her work out clothes, which she kept in her locker. She just threw everything she needed into a bag and gave Traci a big hug.

"Thank you Traci" Andy had missed spending time with her best friend in the last couple of month. They were overdue for a girl's night. Traci simply nodded at her and left the room.

Andy closed her locker and walked out, where she runs into Nick. '_Great'_, she thought, '_I really hoped I could push this off until a few days later'_

"Hi" Andy said and gave Nick an awkward smile.

"Hi" Nick replied and then followed up with a "How are you?"

"I am fine thank you and you?" _This couldn't get more awkward_, she mused.

"I am good also, thanks" Nick is clearly as uncomfortable as Andy.

"Nick listen...I have to talk to you." Andy started. "I don't want to do it here, but...maybe we could go somewhere...Maybe grab a coffee?" She really didn't want to deal with it today, but Andy figured that procrastinating didn't help either. If she could talk to him now, she would be later in the hospital than she planned, but it that didn't matter. Sam would understand, after all they had hopefully the rest of their lives together.

"No" Andy looked shocked at Nick. Did she hear right? She understood that this wasn't an easy thing to talk about, but they still needed to talk. She wants to clear the air between them. Nick is still her friend. Andy didn't want there to be bad blood between them. After all there would be working together in the same division.

Nick must have noticed her shocked expression, because he continued talking. "Andy...I mean I don't want to talk about it. Us...I was stupid to think that I could replace _him_" He said that last word angrily with a stern look on his face. "I get it, you know?" Nick features softened. "You love him and you never stopped. I should have seen it, but my own feelings clouded my vision."

Fellow officers walking past them were looking at them, trying to catch what they were saying. Andy had wanted to go somewhere else, but if Nick wanted to have the talk right here and now it was fine with her. "Nick...I am so sorry. I shouldn't have strung you along. I used you and..." "Andy, you didn't use me." Nick interrupted her.

"Yes, I did. And it wasn't fair." Andy shook her head. She felt bad, but she also couldn't help the way she feels about Sam.

"Don't just blame yourself, ok?" Nick said. "I knew what I was getting into. Even though I forgot it for a moment. I could see that you weren't over him. But I still more or less pushed you into...something. You weren't quite ready. I could see the way you looked at him. You helped him out...and covered for his girlfriend." Nick took a deep breath. Andy was just about to say something, when he continued.

A small smiled played on his lips. "I got a good couple of month out of it. Just give it time and I think I can be your friend again. Maybe not in the capacity like it was...I don't think he would be happy about that, but we definitely will be friends." Nick put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it.

Andy just nodded and went in and gave Nick a hug. "Still...I am so sorry. Without trying to sound like a cliché, but Nick...You are a great guy. Someday, someone will be happy to call you the love of their life. It's just not me. I am sorry."

Nick hugged Andy a little tighter before releasing her and smiling weakly at her. "I will see you around McNally." Andy just nodded at him with tears in her eyes. He truly is a great guy, but she just loves him like a brother. There are no greater feelings within her for Nick.

Andy is sure that by now the whole precinct would know about her and Nick. Enough people had walked past and heard them talk.

By now it was nearly half past 10. She went into the men's locker room to Sam's locker. She discovered that the code still worked. She quickly grabbed the spare workout pants and t-shirt he kept in his locker as well as a few other essentials. Then she went to his desk in the detective's office and took the phone charger. She had noticed yesterday afternoon that his phone is dead. She doubted that he had somehow managed to charge it.

Grateful about the fact that she didn't run into anyone else on her way out of the station, Andy made her way to the hospital. Thankfully it had stopped raining, so she wouldn't get wet again. Andy stopped at a café on the way. She got three large take away cups of Coffee as well as multiple doughnuts, for Oliver, and meat pies and apple flips for Sam and herself.

First stop in the hospital was Oliver's room. Thankfully he didn't get discharged yet.

Andy knocked and opened the door. Oliver was just reading the newspaper. "Hey how are you?" She asked smiling.

Oliver head shot up and he also smiled. "Heyyy, I am good." noticing the café bag in her hand he added "There better be something in there for me. Otherwise you can go!"

"Maybe" Andy replied "Are you a little grumpy because Celery is putting you on a diet?" Oliver rolled his eyes.

"She told you that? That woman doesn't have any boundaries. But for real McNally, Is there something in there for me? I am hungry!" Oliver stated and padded his stomach. Andy couldn't stop her eyes from rolling. Oliver was so predictable. Celery had told her yesterday morning as she had met Andy in the hospitals cafeteria. Andy had laughed at the other woman and had wished her good luck.

Andy didn't mean it badly, but she knew Oliver. Where there was a doughnut shop or a food truck, Oliver was close. How he ever got any work done was a big mystery to her.

She handed Oliver a take away cup and the bag of doughnuts and sat down on the chair next to his bed. Instantly opening the bag, Oliver's face lit up like a Christmas tree. Andy couldn't help but laugh out loud.

After ten minutes of small talk and shit chat Celery strode in instantly seeing the contraband in Oliver's lap. "Traitor" was all Celery said looking at Andy. Andy laughed at her.

"Hey, I couldn't come empty-handed" She replied. Celery just shook her head. "Mister, be glad you have eaten them all" Celery said looking at Oliver this time. "Those will be your last. No more sweets from now on." She smiled at him. Oliver just groaned and rolled his eyes. The love between those two was obvious to Andy.

"You know Oliver you don't want to cheat on your girlfriend with sweets and fast food, do you?" Andy tried to say that with a serious face but miserably failed. Celery chuckled.

"McNally, if you know what's good for you, you will leave now. Can't have you two gang up on me. You can go and annoy Sammy." Oliver winked at her, which caused Andy to blush.

Andy stood gave Oliver and Celery a hug and warned her to not fall for Oliver's _'I am injured_' card. She grabbed her stuff and walked to Sam's room.

A Nurse just stepped out of his room and she held the door open for Andy. "Knock, Knock" she said entering the room.

"McNally, its eleven o'clock, breakfast here was like three hours ago" Sam said as she sat down the goods.

"Ahhh hush, who cares. You can eat breakfast at anytime of the day" Andy replied with a grin. "And technically those pies and apple flips are more like lunch and dessert."

She moved onto unpacking the stuff she brought for Sam and at last she handed him his charger. "I was wondering who I would have to bribe to bring that thing to me" Sam took the charger from her and plugged his phone. He winced a little as he moved, which had Andy worry instantly.

Sam noticed. "I am fine. When I move I pull on the stitches, but the nurse said it's perfectly normal."

Still worried about him she unpacked the pies and apple flips and placed them onto the table. "I am sorry, that I am late" Sam just made a hand gesture that told her it didn't matter.

"It's all right McNally. You had to catch up on sleep. To be honest I didn't expect you for another few hours." Sam gave her an encouraging smile.

"As you can see I went to the station first. Had to get changed, because it was pouring rain...And then I ran into Nick" Andy said that last part more like a mumble, hoping Sam wouldn't clearly hear. Suddenly the paper cup in her hand was more interesting than the man sitting in front of her.


	11. In the hospital

**Authors Note:**

**I am sorry if this chapter is a little boring, but we are coming up to clearing up the sam and marlo situation.**

**So who ever is still with me, thank you for your support and your comments, they mean a lot.**

"...And then I ran into Nick" Andy said. By the sound of her voice she didn't want to share that information, but she had said it nevertheless.

Sam took a deep breath. She couldn't possibly have talked to him all ready, could she? It would make him happy to know that she was done with _him,_ but that wouldn't have been an easy talk to have after the week they had.

"How did that go?" Sam tried to keep the nervousness out of his voice, but didn't quite succeed. Andy seemed to find her take away cup very interesting at the moment, showing him that she'd rather talk about anything else but that.

"Pretty good actually" She said, finally looking him straight in the eye. "He told me he got it. That he could always see that I am not over you and he told me we will be friends again eventually"

He couldn't help but cringe at the mentioning of them being friends and Andy noticed.

"Sam I love you and I want to be with you, but if you cannot deal with the fact that Nick and I will be friends again, then the two of us going to have a problem." Andy said with certain hardness in her voice.

He may not like G. , but he couldn't tell Andy who to be friends with and whom not. Sam shook his head. "No it's fine Andy. I may not like the guy, but I will have to deal with it. I won't tell you who you can hang out with and who not. After all at the end of the day it will be me you turn to when you need your cold feet warmed."

Andy smiled at him. She just sat there and smiled. "If you are lucky Detective that is definitely what will happen" she said and winked at him, while still sporting that stupid smile.

Sam couldn't help but laugh out loud and then said in a husky voice "Oh, I am counting on it." Andy blushed and let her hair fall over her face. This made Sam smile even more. _God, I missed her._

After a few minutes of silence, they resumed eating their breakfast.

"Thank you for bringing me this" Sam motioned to the things she had brought and the food. "After just one day, hospital food really sucks, so this is definitely the food highlight of my day."

She smiled broadly at him "I am glad" was all she said.

As they were finished eating, Andy picked up the rubbish and threw it in the trash. "Could you help me get up and help me to get to the bathroom?" Sam asked as Andy's back was turned towards him. He didn't want her to see how much it pained him to rely on her to simply cross the room to go to the toilet.

Those words made her turn around with big eyes, as if he just told her a state secret.

"Are you asking for my help?" Andy smiled at him before moving to his side to help him out of bed.

"Please don't tell anyone. My reputation at the station will be shot to hell, if it gets out that I need help with anything." Sam smirked.

"Don't worry your secret is safe with me" Andy got him out of bed and helped him move slowly to the bathroom. Once there she gave Sam his space and closed the door behind her.

He moved to do his business. He had showered and shaved this morning. On Sam's insistence the nurse had let him do it all himself, but once again he had found out that it hurt when he moved to quickly. He wasn't used to doing everything so slow.

Sam had been shot once before, but that had been a piece of cake compared to this. "Maybe I am just getting old", Sam mumbled.

He was still in his hospital gown. Sam was glad that Andy thought of bringing him some clothes out of his locker.

As soon as he opened the door, Andy was immediately by his side helping him back to the bed. _I could get used to her playing nurse_, that thought and a few inappropriate pictures made him grin.

"Hey Andy" Sam said as they made it back to the bed "Could you help me out of this gown and into those clothes you brought?"

Andy nodded and moved to get them. Sam sat on the edge of the bed pulling on his pants, before she removed the gown so that he could put on the t-shirt.

Once again Andy blushed, but didn't say anything. This was the most intimate they had gotten since Jerry had died. There was electricity between them and he was sure he wasn't the only one feeling it.

Andy moved in between his legs and pulled the t-shirt over his head. He winced as he tried to put his arms through the sleeves himself, so Andy did that carefully for him.

The tension in the air could be cut with a knife, it was that thick. Clearing her throat, Andy shot Sam a weak smile and tried to move away. But Sam's hands moved on their own will. Before he knew what was happening himself he had her in his arms, hugging her.

At first Andy's body was very tense, but then she relaxed and hugged him a little more. Sam couldn't help but smile. All the tension left Sam's body. Sam felt his t-shirt getting wet and hugged Andy a little tighter, whilst running his hand up and down her back.

He didn't want to make her cry anymore. Sam had seen enough of her tears to last him a life time. From now on he would make sure not to screw up, to have her smiling and laughing as much as possible

He was happy that he was able to touch her again. Sam needed Andy like the air to breath. He wouldn't let her go a second time; she is one in a million.

The ringing of her phone brought them both out of their thoughts. Andy moved back and Sam felt instantly cold.

"Hello" Andy said. She motioned that she would be outside for a minute, before closing the door behind her. Sam tried to listen what was being said, but all he could here was he muffled voice. She nodded a few time before hanging up.

"So that was Luke..." Andy said as she walked back in.

Sam threw her a questioning look. "What did Callahan want?"

"I have to go in to the station again. He wants me to give my statement now. Luke also told me to tell you that Traci would be by later to take your statement." Andy put on her coat and grabbed her bag. "So I am sorry but I have to go."

"Come here" Sam motioned for her to come closer. He wasn't ready to be on his own again, but he understood that she needed to give her statement. As she stepped closer, her grabbed her hand and pulled her towards himself and enveloped her in another hug.

They stayed like this for quite a while before Andy sighed "I have to go."

Sam nodded and squeezed her hand. "No worries, hey hum...can I call you tonight?" He'd rather she would come back after giving her statement, but he knew he couldn't ask her to do that, so Sam settled for the next best thing.

Andy smiled at him and nodded "Yes".

"Ok then...I will call you tonight...Be safe" Moving properly on to the bed and reached for the TV remote.

Andy gave him a small finger wave and left.

He would call her tonight before going to sleep. It would give them some space and they could talk. Sam knew it was cowardly but he could talk about feelings and their relationship easier when she wasn't right in front of him. He wouldn't see the hurt in her eyes, which he had put there.

But he knew it was a good first step in the right direction.


	12. Dov

**So people here is the deal, I have never been to Canada, I have no knowledge of medical stuff as well as Police language.**

**Please forgive me for my mistakes. Everything mentioned about Police and Toronto I got out of the internet.**

**A big thank you to Alexia. You know what you did ;)**

**Also thank you all for reading my story :)**

**Enjoy**

They were finally able to get a hold off Chloe's parents this morning. Hopefully they would be able to make Wes see that Chloe is desperately in need of that surgery.

He knew little about her condition. Frank had said she was ok, but he wasn't sure if the swelling had gone down or not.

Dov had been taken aback, by the fact that Chloe is married and had neglected to mention that to him. He just hoped that she would be ok and they could talk this out. He also hoped that she didn't have any feeling for Wes anymore and would divorce him. He just didn't like the guy. There was something about him that didn't feel right. And Dov would sooner or later discover what it is.

He was back at work. Since he couldn't sit next to Chloe's bed, he had to do something. Plus they were short-staffed, so Dov couldn't take time off either.

Dov was glad for the distraction. Moping wouldn't help her. Thankfully he was partnered with Chris, at least he would be able to take Dov's bad mood.

"Hey what you want for lunch?" His partner asked him as he got out of the squad car.

"Hamburger and fries and a large coke." Dov replied and handing Chris some money through his open window.

Dov hoped they would get more to do after Lunch. So far they were 5 hours into a 12 hour shift and had only handed out a few tickets for speeders. He needed some action, otherwise his mind would go back to Chloe.

Chris jumped back into the passenger side of their car and handed Dov his Lunch.

"Have you heard?" Chris asked as he munched on some fries. "Heard what?" Dov couldn't keep the annoyance out of his voice. Couldn't his friend come right out and say it, instead of asking stupid questions?

"Swarek is awake. Traci told me this morning." That caused Dov's head to turn.

"Really?... good for him. Took him long enough. At least Andy can go home and take a decent nap." Dov replied. They both had tried to get Andy home the first night after Swarek had gotten out of surgery, but she had refused. She had mumbled something along the lines off _'he is my story_' and '_not going to leave him until he wakes up. I am done running_'. So Dov and Chris had given up.

Dov had yet to figure out what she had meant.

"Yeah, that's what I said. Apparently Andy came to the station to pick up some stuff for Sam. She also ran into _Nick._ Rumor has it that they talked and went their separate ways." Chris still didn't like Nick Collins.

Dov knew his best friend very well and he knew that he still held a grudge against Nick. Chris still thought it was Nick's fault that Gail got kidnapped and then of course there was Christian's kidnapping too. Andy had been forgiven.

"By rumor you mean, that most of the station walked by where they were talking and heard parts of the conversation?" Dov smirked. At 15 division nothing could happen without everybody knowing within 24 hours.

"Pretty much" Chris laughed out loud. "Maybe Swarek and Andy will finally get their heads out of the sand and see what's right infront of them" Chris was a true shipper for those two.

"Man, we are talking about two very stubborn people. Even a talking down by his arch-enemy didn't help to make Swarek see that he was being a stubborn jerk." If those two were able to work it out, it would be close to a miracle, if Dov would believe in things like that.

For a few minutes they concentrated back on their food. Until Dov's phone rang. _'Best' _it read on the screen and Dov answered immediately.

Not bothering with a greeting his Staff Sergent went right down to business. "Chloe's parents agreed to the surgery. They are going to work on her right away." Frank paused for a second. "Epstein, don't go rushing for the hospital. Stay out, keep your head in the game, I will call you when something changes. The surgery will take a while!" By the sound of his voice he left no room for discussion.

Dov let out a breath he had held, since his phone rang. "Yes, Sir" Then the line went dead. Dov pocketed his Phone again.

"What's going on?" Chris asked curiously.

"They agreed..." looking at Chris, Dov saw confusion written on his face before he got what Dov meant. "Oh.." That was all that came out of Chris's mouth. "You wanna go to the Hospital, Dov?"

Dov shook his head. "Nah, Sarge told me to stay put. He will update me when he knows something. And I wont be any help there anyways" Dov couldn't help but smile. Everything would be just fine. Chloe would get the surgery. She is a fighter, she will make it. He cared for her more than he was ready to admit. Her constant chatter was driving him insane, but that's what he liked most about her. Chloe kept Dov on his toes.

"Okay. She will make it Dov, I am sure of it" Trust his best friend and his undying support. Chris would give him the shirt of his back, even if it meant him running around without one in minus 30 degree weather.

"Thanks, I know. Never thought I miss her quirky personality and her constant chatter" Dov laughed, the first real laugh in days. A weight had lifted of his shoulders by Best's call. Chris joined in.

"**1505 requests assistance at Christie Pist Park, for a possible B&E**"

"Mark 1525 responding" Dov was glad they had finally something to do. This would keep his mind of things.

He started the car, Chris threw out their trash and of they went with Sirens.


	13. Marlo

**Authors note:**

**So it was brought to my attention that i have been writing luke's last name wrong, Thank you RBfan4ever :) I will keep it in mind...or just stop using his last name :D**

**So here is another one :) Enjoy**

The doctor had come in after Lunch and told him that he would be able to go home in a couple of days, but he wasn't allowed to do any physical activities for another few weeks. The Doctor had also told him that he could walk around, but not over do it until the stitches were taken out in two weeks.

That was fine by Sam. It's not like he would be back at work soon. He was expecting another three Month suspension.

There was a knock on the door and Sam looked up. It was a young nurse holding a letter. "This was left at reception for you Detective" She moved over to Sam and handed him the envelope.

"Thank you" He said and looked at the white envelope. There was nothing written at the front or the back, so he went ahead and opened it. He recognized the handwriting immediately. Turning the TV on mute, he started reading.

_Dear Sam,_

_I am sorry for choosing this way to communicate with you but I think it is the best way._

_First of all I am so sorry for everything. I realize now that I should have told you earlier about my condition. Please don't be mad at Andy, she kept quite because I asked her to do so. She told me to tell you, but I was afraid that you would leave me, or even worse tell Best._

_I realize now that you wouldn't have done that._

_I also realize that my failure to report my condition put you both in a very tight spot, and that you both can face huge consequences for that._

_I spoke to Luke. I gave him my statement, and I left out that McNally changed the Logbook. I think that was the least I could do. _

_I stopped taking my medication because I fell in love with you, Sam. The medication made me numb, and all I wanted was to feel. I wanted to feel what it is like to be in love. I wont make this an excuse for what happened. That is all on me._

_You wanted to help me, I realize that now. But I also realized that you are still in love with Andy. And to be honest I cannot blame you. Seeing you two together...it put it all in perspective for me. It's her and it has always been her for you._

_Don't wait too long, Sam. Don't let her slip through your fingers, again. You deserve happiness in your life and if that means that you are only happy when you are with her, so be it._

_I will stay at my sisters until the investigation is over. I will be most likely kicked of the force, but that was to be expected. Once done and over I will leave Canada. I have relatives in New York. It's time for a fresh start._

_Please don't come to see me. If you wish to contact me Luke has my current phone number, just don't call, just text._

_I don't think I can handle to see or hear you at the moment. Also I hope you can forgive me with time. I didn't mean for all of this to happen._

_The last few month with you have been the best of my life. Don't forget me._

_I love you_

_Marlo_

"Shit" Sam screamed out loud, which coursed the nurse to come running. He just gave her a thumbs up as she looked through his window.

He felt like an ass. First off all for hurting Marlo, it had never been his intention. Sam had thought they were on the same page, that it was just a casual thing, but he had thought wrong. Secondly he felt like an ass, that Marlo had seen, or at least thought that there was still something between him and Andy. And thirdly that Marlo had thought she couldn't trust him.

With this letter Marlo let him of the hook. He didn't need to go and see her, and he didn't need to talk about how he was still in love with Andy and he didn't need to see the pain in Marlo's eyes.

But that made him feel like a jerk. Sam grabbed his Phone and dialed Luke's number.

"What do you want Swarek?" Apparently the other detective wasn't too pleased to hear from Sam.

"Hey Callaghan, could you please send me Marlo's number?" Sam figured he should play nice.

"I will send it to you" _**Click**_. Sam stared at the phone for a full minute. When is he ever going to be on Luke's good side?

Sam had never liked Luke, but had always played nice in front of their work mates. But since Andy entered both of their lives it had grown into a dislike that he didn't hide anymore. The whole station knew how the two detectives felt about one another.

A few minutes later his phone beeped. Using the number Luke had texted him, he send Marlo a message.

'**I got your letter. I am sorry how everything went between the two of us. I should have been upfront about my feelings for Andy. Marlo I am sorry. I really thought I was ready to move on, turns out I wasn't. Also I am sorry that you didn't think you could come to me and tell me about your condition. I am very "**

He hit send. Sam didn't know if he would get something back from her, but he felt a bit better now that he had his say. It still felt like a coward move to do this via text message, but she wanted it this way.

Not even five minutes later his phone beeped again. Looking on the screen he saw it is from Marlo and pressed the button to read the message.

**'No need to apologize for how you feel Sam. In the end we both gotten what we want. I finally felt what it means to be in love and you get the love of your life back. I will be in touch at some point once I got settled in New York. Please give Andy my best. Marlo'**

_Love of my life...yeah that sounds about right_, Sam thought and smiled. Moving down in the bed, he turned the TV back up and settled in for another repeat episode of the Big Bang Theory. That show was growing on him.


	14. A girls night and a phone call

**Nothing to do at work, so here I am writing. Enjoy :)**

**p.s: This chapter is a little longer than i intended. I just didn't know where to stop.**

Andy giggled as she refilled Traci's and her own wine glass.

After she had given her statement to Luke, Andy had run into Traci again. They had decided that since Traci had the night off and Leo was at his Dad's, they would just drink those bottles of wine tonight.

On her way over, Andy had picked up pizza's and another bottle of wine.

They were all ready two bottles down and just started the third one. Andy had endured Traci's relentless questions about her and Nick, as well as Sam.

"Enough about my problems Trace...What's up with you and Peck?" Andy couldn't help the giggle that came out, she was way more drunk than she had realized.

Her best friend laughed and lowered her head. "Oh Andy...No...NO...we are not talking about that!" Traci protested.

"Not talking about what?About the fact that you have a thing for a Peck or the fact that people have started to call you Stash?" Andy tried to keep a straight face but couldn't. Peckstein & McSwarek were just a couple of lovely names their fellow Officers came up with.

"Oh my gosh...they do not call us that!"Traci just shook her head, but couldn't stop grinning. "All right...yeah I heard that too. And yes I may have a thing for Steve" She winked at Andy and blushed.

"As long as you are happy Traci, it doesn't matter who the guy is" Andy smiled at her friend. "It is good to see you this happy"

"And I am...happy I mean" Traci took another sip of wine. Andy just nodded and did the same. She envied her Friend. After the disaster that is Dex, she was able to have a real shot at happiness with Jerry and now with Steve. Andy wanted to have a normal relationship, but somehow she always ended up ruining her relationship by running as soon as it got serious or the guy that had been sweet before, turned out to be a jerk.

"I am sorry I haven't been the best friend to you" Andy thought that this moment was perfect to apologize to her best friend. Traci shook her head and set down her wine glass. "Andy...listen.." but Andy held up a hand that made Traci stop talking.

"Trace...just let me say this ok?" She looked at the other woman, who once again nodded. "I was too busy with my own little drama and then I left for undercover...I shouldn't have just thought about me. You weren't in a good place after Jerry died and Leo wasn't coping either, I should have made sure you were okay before I left. I am really sorry Traci"

"Andy, there is nothing to apologize for. You did what you thought was the right thing to do. Don't put this all on yourself. Sam had broken up with you, Jerry had died, I understand that you wanted to run away. I would have too, if I didn't have Leo to think off. So don't blame yourself. Just don't do it again, without letting me know!" Traci didn't need to voice what exactly she would do if Andy pulled a stunt like that again.

Andy placed her wine glass on the table and moved over and gave Traci a hug. She had missed her best friend when she went undercover. Nick had been a good friend but from time to time she had wished Traci had been there for some girl talk.

"You think Gail will ever forgive me?" Andy asked Traci as she pulled away.

"Don't worry about the Ice Queen. She isn't an angel either." Traci gave her an encouraging smile.

"I broke the Girl code...I should have never moved on to Nick, but it had been such a convenience. I don't regret it per se, because the sex was good, but everything else that came with it I regret. I thought we were on the same page, I didn't realize that he had bigger feelings for me. Now I ruined both friendships with Gail and Nick." And that was the truth. She had needed the sex, the closeness, but ruining friendships wasn't worth the best sex in the world.

Traci gave Andy another hug. "On the bright side, it made Swarek see that he still cares about you." Squeezing her best friend even tighter, her tears started to drop.

She sniffled and then laughed a little. "Damn, since Sam got shot I cannot stop crying"

"I think it's more that you have held all of this in for too long. We have to get together a lot more. Why don't you come over on Sunday morning and you can watch Leo while I am at work. I know my little guy misses his Aunty. You would make his day." Traci said and drank the last of her glass of wine.

_Time to go_, Andy thought and finished her glass as well. "Yeah that would be great. After all my blueberry pancakes are better than yours."

The other woman laughed out loud. "Yeah because you cheat. You use the pre-mixed pancake batter and just add blueberries to it. I make them from scratch"

"Awww...Leo told you didn't he? I tried to bribe him into silence with an extra batch of pancakes." Andy laughed and got up to put on her jacket.

"You know I am a detective right?...I know when my little man tries to hide something from me, plus I know that you can't cook to save your life!" Traci took their glasses and put them into the kitchen.

"Hey...I have you know that I make a mean Bolognese sauce." Andy picked up her bag and moved to open the door.

"Message me when you are home okay?" Her best friend reminded her with her Mom-voice.

Andy nodded and gave Traci one last hug before closing the door behind her. Winter was coming, the temperature had dropped down to a most of 5 degrees. Snuggling further into her jacket, Andy started into the direction of her apartment.

It was just 9 pm, but the alcohol was making her sleepy. She was sure that by the time she arrived home she was wide awake and sober again.

Andy's phone rung and it took her a few seconds before she was able to fish it out of her bag. Without looking at the caller ID she answered it. "Hello?"

"Hey, How are you?" Sam's voice came through the line and made her smile. Andy hadn't forgotten that he had said he wanted to call, but she had forced herself not to expect it. She didn't want to be disappointed if he didn't call. "I am good, and you?"

"McNally are you drunk?" _Damn_, she thought and started giggling, _I start to sound like a school girl, damn that wine_. "Wow can we add psychic now to your impressive resume, detective?"

Sam's deep laugh rumbled through the line and cause her heart to skip a beat. "Nah McNally, but your slurry speech gave it away."

"Yeah well two and a half bottles of red wine between me and Traci will do that" She couldn't help but laugh too. After her laughter had died down she recognized how dark it was in the street. A person with a dog walked past her and wished her a good evening.

"McNally where are you?" worry was clear in Sam's voice. She couldn't help but roll her eyes. He was always worried about her. Andy thought it is cute but sometimes a little over the top. "I am walking home from Traci's" She replied.

"Andy...arggg. Why aren't you in a taxi?" Sam paused for a second "It's dark outside. You should know better"

"It's fine Sam...I am fine. Plus I am talking to you aren't I? If something happens you can just call the cops for me okay?" She knew he was just being nice, but she could take of her own. Plus she didn't want to tell Sam that she was afraid to take a taxi by herself at this time of the night.

Sam snorted. "Now tell me the real reason you are walking through the dark street by yourself, in the cold nevertheless, instead of taking a taxi, which could have you home within a few minutes?" _Yes, he was definitely becoming a psychic_, Andy mused.

"No, I just know you well" Sam said and chuckled. "You said that out loud, McNally!"

"Stupid wine...makes my lips very loose." Andy laughed. She had always liked to talk to Sam over the phone. He seemed more at ease and easier to talk to, than when they were talking face to face. "Okay fine" She huffed. "Ever since Gail got kidnapped, I don't like taking taxi's when it's dark. I always try to get a female driver, but today is Friday and we both know that it will be hard to get one at this our, especially in this cold weather."

She got no reply to that from Sam. If it wasn't for Sam's breathing she would have thought they had lost the connection. "Say something" Andy said quietly.

"Come by tomorrow and pick up the keys for my truck. You cannot walk every where." There was a certain hardness to his tone, that didn't leave any room for an argument. But she tried nevertheless.

"No Sam...No. I cannot ask that of you. I will get Traci to give me a lift, or ask my Dad to borrow his car..." Andy tried to protest but Sam cut her off.

"Andy, You are not asking, I am offering. I feel better if you would just drive the truck. We both know Nash will need her car, and so does you dad. So please don't argue with me, just come and get the keys?" _He had to use 'please' didnt he?_ She lost the inner war with herself. She couldn't resist him when he used that word, since he rarely used it. And Sam knew that. So she caved in "Fine, I will get the keys of you tomorrow morning"

"Good. So tell me was Luke mad? I am just glad that Traci came to take my statement!" She could her the smile in his voice. Andy doubted that the rivalry between the two detectives would ever find an end. And by covering for Marlo, Sam had hit the top spot on Luke's shit list.

"Oh...He wasn't too bad..." They continued talking until she was safely tugged into bed. They had talked about everything and nothing. Sam had entertained her with a few stories of Oliver, Jerry and his first few years in the academy. And here she thought she had gotten into a lot of trouble as a rookie, but those three had been worse.

"I am going to let you go to sleep McNally" Sam said whilst yawning. "Just remember to get the keys tomorrow, and maybe bring me a cup of _good_ coffee. You know as payment for using my truck"

"SAM...you offered as I remember correctly." She laughed out.

"Okay..Okay...not as payment then...more out of the goodness of your heart, because the coffee here sucks!" The amusement clear in his voice.

"I will think about it" Andy smiled. She loves teasing him. "Good night Swarek"

She got a "Good Night Andy" in return before hanging up. Andy quickly texted Traci, that she was safe at home. Shortly after she fell asleep with a smile on her face and excitement over seeing Sam tomorrow.


End file.
